put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
