as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Your penis caused this!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
