Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
