i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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