Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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