I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
