And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
