Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
