Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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