fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
