Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
