Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
