hotel room ftw
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
