So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
