Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
