can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
