You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
