Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
