people are starting to question the shark bite story
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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