Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
