Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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