she told me i tasted like america
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
