At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
