I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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