the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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