I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
