I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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