He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
