twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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