Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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