Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
