need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
