Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
