Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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