S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She tied me up with her honor cords...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
