does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
