ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
