We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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