new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
