Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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