Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
