halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
