When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This baby is an asshole
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
