Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
