nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
