i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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