The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
