I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
