My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
