you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
