are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
